When I think of Peeps, I immediately think back to the first and only time I tried them back in like probably 94. Needless to say, I hated them and I never gave them another fair chance at redeeming themselves. To be honest, I don't really find myself craving sorta stale marshmallows all that often. Maybe it's just me? Anyways, we've had SO MANY (yes, in all caps) different versions and flavors of these fucking monstrosities... so someone out there enjoys them, surely. Today, I venture into facing this fluffy, disgusting chick/bunny shit-storm head on by sampling one of each kind that I can find in the local Walmart. I've noticed online that there are a lot more varieties that aren't readily available, whether it's no longer produced or an exclusive I'm not willing to travel for or pay gratuitous amounts of money for on ebay. So, if there are any flavors that you wish I would've sampled, tough luck brochacho! The less Peeps I have to painstakingly put into my food hole, the better!

CHOCOLATE PUDDING

I figured I'd start off with the least harmful and, hopefully, most palatable flavors I could find; Chocolate Pudding! Off topic, I always relate anything pudding directly to Bill Cosby.... which is equally as creepy as the thought of ingesting Peeps voluntarily. Anyways, upon opening the pack, I instantly got Swiss Miss hot chocolate powder. I can see some similarities with the two but I feel like it's definitely more on the hot cocoa side than pudding. It tastes like a fluffy hot chocolate. I dig it. Dare I say... I enjoy it? It's not terrible for what it is. The flavor is very smooth. I think it works well. I don't feel like the outside is near as crispy as I remember them being.

FROOT LOOPS

This right here is the whole reason I went Peep shopping. Since Froot Loops seem to be the focus of junk food for 2020, I had to get a hold of these to try.. or, at the least, leave in the package and save for the rest of my life to show my hypothetical children and grand children how cool 2020 was (coronavirus aside). They smell pretty accurate; not real strong but enough to know that it is indeed classic orangey-lemon Froot Loops. The flavor is very similar; a little on the muted side but still there. I wish they were just a little bit stronger but they're not bad.

PARTY CAKE

Artificial birthday cake flavored things, I feel, are all relatively similar; they all seem to be a sweeter vanilla and nothing more... surprisingly, not this time. I feel like the texture of the Peep is sort of leading me to believe the flavor a little more than other birthday cake flavored things I've tried in the past. I almost feel like I get a hint of icing. They did this justice. It's still not enough for me to go out and buy them all but it's better than I expected.

FRUIT PUNCH

I was dreading this one in specific. I use to love Hawaiian Punch as a kid. That is, until I got sick and threw up a spout of hot red punch all over the kitchen floor. It's like that one time you got hammered on such and such kind of alcohol and you can't seem to stand the smell of it ever again. That's me with Hawaiian Punch. Smell and taste is dead accurate... which is a lose lose situation for me. Punch flavored Peeps is my actual kryptonite. I swear, this is what nightmares are made of.

BLUE RASPBERRY

I love me some blue raspberry anything and everything and will gladly wear the blue food color mouth stain with pride and happily greet the blue green surprise in the toilet the next day. Fresh out the package, these smell a lot like sour gummy straws. I wasn't expecting these to taste like blue Icee slushies but they do without a doubt. I almost forgot hated Peeps for a second.

WATERMELON

I think these ones look the coolest out of the bunch; they're green on the outside and pink on the inside. I also expected them to taste a lot worse than what they do. They smell and taste like Sour Patch Kids watermelons. Between these and the Blue Raspberry Peeps, they're nailing that sour candy vibe pretty well.

COTTON CANDY

Another personally favorite flavor of mine, I had high hopes for these and they didn't disappoint. Ultimately.... it's sugar flavored marshmallows. But these remind me a lot of cotton candy ice cream. The texture of the marshmallow almost tricks me into believe I'm eating real cotton candy. Very enjoyable.

ROOT BEER FLOAT

And last but not least, we have root beer float flavored Peeps. These are just okay to me. While they do taste like root beer, they don't necessarily say "root beer float." I expected a hint of vanilla in the mix which I don't openly get. I assume they were trying to let the marshmallow shine through on this one but it doesn't feel like it's enough to make it a float. It's good but not amazing.

CONCLUSION

As much as I dislike Peeps, most of these were okay and none, except Fruit Punch, made me gag much! What a relief! They are all basically either spot on or close to it in flavor. It really all boils down to personal preference but I'd say my favorites are Blue Raspberry and Watermelon and my least favorite is, of course, Fruit Punch. The rest are all decent and in no specific order from good to bad in between. Now to put this all behind me.... in a place where all Peeps belong. Thanks for reading!

Mre FromOptimus_Grime814