Recap August 12 - 17
Happy Saturday! Time to round ‘em and pound ‘em.
….Twisted Teas. Pound the Twisted Teas. Yes, I know this article published at 6:30 AM. No we don’t have a problem. Shut up. Anyways, lets get on with it.
Rob Zombie is Heading to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Orlando!
In the words of Frasier Crane, I’m listening. Talk about an announcement we weren’t expecting in the slightest! For those of you who are unaware, Halloween Horror Nights is Universal Studios seasonal haunted attraction, and quite frankly, possibly the best around. The team puts such effort and care into all of their haunted attractions that it really feels like you’re IN the movie it’s based off of. This year, we found out that Universal has teamed up with Zombie to bring to life House of 1,000 Corpses as a haunted house, and Hellbilly Deluxe as a scare zone! I am thrilled about the corpses house, as in my opinion, I think that might be the best of all of Zombie’s films. I know a lot of people would argue that by repeatedly screaming “The Devils Rejects” at the top of their lungs until they passed out, but there is just something about the vivid color palette and the wacky Texas Chainsaw 2-esque horror comedy that is more appealing to me. The fact that we have a chance to potentially see Captain Spaulding’s Murder Ride up close and in person is insanely exciting, but the Hellbilly Deluxe announcement is actually mind blowing. It’s so rare to find a musician with such a crazy concept and visual style, but back when Hellbilly Deluxe was released in 1998, Rob Zombie was chock full of it. We don’t know much about the scare zone based off of the album, just this small blurb from the Halloween Horror Nights website:
“You know his music, now it’s time to live it. Step into the heavy metal horror of Rob Zombie’s music and imagery in this pulse-pounding scare zone. From otherworldly beings to brutal maniacs, you’ll come face-to-face with his twisted creations as the music cranks to a frenzy.”
Reading between the lines here, what I think they really mean to convey is that we can expect a whole section of the park to feel like one of Zombie’s music videos has jumped off the small screen and inhabited our world. I could be way off, but I’m hoping for the best…and I’m also hoping that the Dragula-mobile will be out driving around the streets of Universal!
Crank Yankers is Being Revived, But Should It?
Crank Yankers is a show that hit me at exactly the right age. As a 12 year old my passion for prank phone calls was at an all-time high, so seeing my favorite comedians calling these people and having it acted out by puppets was obviously a very big deal for me. I was there with them for the entire original Comedy Central run, and I only missed the MTV2 seasons due to not actually having MTV2. Well this week a trailer dropped for the new season with some excerpts of Elmer Higgins(voiced by Jimmy Kimmel) basically just doing his thing, and it was pretty funny. That being said I’m not sure how the show will do in the modern, more politically correct, era. Interestingly enough, drama and outrage junkies aside, what’s considered acceptable by MOST audiences hasn’t changed all too drastically since then, the show was considered offensive and unacceptable by many at the time it originally aired. The problem I see on the horizon is that the people running the show have changed over the years, they have some comfy gigs set up for themselves and I’m wondering if they’ll be as willing to skirt the lines of acceptability these days as they had been in the past. They’ve already put out an extensive list of characters that will be returning, and there are plenty of old favorites. That being said, one character that is noticeably missing from the list, and who used to be one of their primary marketing draws, is Special Ed. There were plenty of other characters that wouldn’t survive in the current climate, but really this one is the only one who’s absence I think will be felt by fans of earlier runs of the show. I understand that there’s a sentiment that humor shouldn’t be allowed to hurt or offend anyone these days, but my views on the subject are simply that humor can only hurt you if you let it. If you’re emotionally mature enough to understand that most jokes are just jokes, and that there probably isn’t any actual malice behind the words, then where’s the harm? At any rate I hope my doubts prove to be unfounded. You can view the trailer below.
Actual photo of Harley Quinn thinking “Who the Hell cares?” after reading the headline.
This week’s featured not article comes courtesy of Cinemablend. You might be wondering why none of these so far have been from actual BuzzFeed articles. Well the truth is that every time we try browsing through BuzzFeed we can just FEEL the points dropping off of our IQ without even making it past the headlines, so we try our best to avoid using them wherever possible. So yeah, this article is a prime example of something that drives me up a wall about modern internet journalism: Trying to build an entire article around a single, mundane quote or exchange between persons of interest. Whether it’s someone’s twitter feed, or cases like this, where they give a really nondescript opinion without actually revealing anything new or of interest, this is a terrible practice. It’s just another example of using clickbait titles and mindless filler to waste people’s time in the hopes that a few of them will get distracted by the ad banners before closing your page and accidentally make you some money. Even the title seems to be throwing it in our faces how meaningless this article really is. “Wow, you mean a close family member really likes the work he’s doing? What next? His mommy says he did a good job directing it?”
Fuck it H2 Sample Here
You can read the entire article here, or if you’d rather just save time and frustration and read the quote that the entire article tries to build around, here you go:
Fuck it H3 Sample Here
“I know that [James is] very excited about shooting and now that I have read the script for it and I will say nothing other than that it’s really good. And I know that he’s pretty jazzed about it, so I’m definitely excited to hear what happens next. But they start shooting soon.”