As I write this article the tree is lit, the halls are decked, I've gone through my 4th carton of eggnog and I have my living room TV running a constant and steady stream of old Christmas commercials. Aw yeah.... we're in it deep now, my friends.

Anyhow, at a flea market back in August, I came across this beautiful table filled with old Christmas junk. Among those items happened to be this copy of the 1992 Sears Wish Book for a buck over the original cover price and I could not pass that deal up. I remember a few times getting Sears and Toys R Us Christmas catalogs in the mail but maybe only once or twice and by the time I found out such catalogs even existed, most of the stuff I was into at the time was either discontinued or changed to the point that you wished it was discontinued. I knew right away this particular book would have some goodies I'm familiar with in it. Allow me to take a look at and highlight on some of the best items listed.

SEARS STORE ADS

Before I even opened the book these two little unattached ads fell out. The first one is an ad for the Sears Portrait Studio with a new Christmas backdrop! $10.95 for 53 portraits and 32 free Portrait Petites. I really dig the two stoned elves holding up the half off sign. The second one is the world's first dual deck VCR. We had one of these VCR's and basically made all kinds of bootleg copies of VHS tapes we rented. The first tapes I ever copied were Kazaam and Muppet Treasure Island.

PAJAMAS

I know, clothes of any form were usually on the very bottom of the Christmas list if they even made it to the list, that is. However, I know for a fact I wouldn't have said no to over half this spread. Now that I look, I'm almost positive I had the Taz ones. Taz wasn't even one if my favorite characters and I wore them shits all the time! I feel like the Sonic and Super Mario ones are the real winners here but, knowing me at that age, given a choice I would've undoubtedly went for Raphael riding the T-Rex. Hell, I'd sport that shirt now if I had one.

BAT MOBILE SLUMBER TENT

A cousin of mine had a tent like this before but it was a Barbie one which I considered my first guilty pleasure. It was still cool but a lot less cool than say a TMNT or GI Joe tent and even worse when your other cousins found out you played with it. The Bat mobile tent is probably one of the coolest ones I've ever laid eyes on. As I look at this image I think to myself.. at one point, it was possible to chill in a bat mobile from the comfort of your own room and, somehow, I missed this opportunity? In my defense, I was only 3 in 1992 but I had 2 older siblings who apparently didn't nag enough for the right items. Shame on them.

LEGO SYSTEM "SPACE POLICE"

Legos were a reoccurring gift to me for quite some time. I can remember my gram always saying that someday I'll become an architect. Well, that never happened and, mostly, I still just enjoy playing with legos and never really thought about becoming an architect. Anyways, there are a few other Lego sets listed but this one caught my attention. Fucking SPACE POLICE! Which leads me to ask... what the hell is going on out in space that we need a squad to police it? Between the Galactic Mediator and the Solar Snooper, I can only assume they could help aid in the apprehension of Krang, Thanos and also "klowns" who turn people into edible cotton candy cocoons.

CREEPY CRAWLERS WORKSHOP

Strangely enough, the same flea market I found this Wish Book at also shared the destination of this Creepy Crawlers Workshop. It was complete in box for about $10. Had the "Plasti Goop" that came with it not been spilled all over the inside and dried out, it wouldve undoubtedly came home with me. I never had one of these as a kid or any other Creepy Crawlers sets but friends of mine did. I specifically remember the ones that came with food and edible items. Like a mad scientist version of an easy bake oven.

COLOR BLASTER

The Color Blaster, or in other words intro to selling cheap air brushed weed shirts in malls and fairs. Admittedly, as a kid who doodled often, I use to get so pumped when I saw the commercial for these things on tv. Never having used an airbrush before, it left a lot for the imagination. Now, as an adult, I think I'd air brush that jazzy 90s cup design on everything if I personally owned one. I'm pretty sure that's what adults in their 30's do... pretty sure. It looks like the girl in the photo is a fan of Pink Swimmingo.

L.A. ROCK PERSONAL CASSETTE PLAYER

Another item I managed to find in the wild, only this time at Goodwill and a slightly different colorway. I'm missing the sweet headphones and speakers that go along with it, unfortunately. It's not like it really matters... the only cassette tape I own at the moment is MC Hammers Addams Groove single. Off topic, my last memory using one of these bad boys wasnt the best. I was riding my mountain bike and listening to the Footloose soundtrack. I went to flip the tape to listen to the other side while riding and ended up running into a parked car head on. I fell off and pretended that I was hurt long enough to make sure no one saw it happen and went about my merry way as quickly as I could. Not sure what more embarrassing, the fact that I hit a parked car or that I was listening to the Footloose soundtrack.

GAME GENIE (NES)

The Game Genie for the NES and I are no stranger to each other. My siblings and I did indeed receive one for Christmas and I still have the VHS to prove it. It was one of those "this is for all of you kids" gifts that we all had to share but the oldest sibling got to open. It came with a cartridge that you plug your Nintendo cartridges into and a book full of cheat codes. We didn't know it right away but, this was power we never could have imagined as kids. This little bastard was helpful on quite a few occasions. Infinite life, level selects, start with extra continues.... the lost goes on. I remember, for us kids, the most help was offered in Burger Time. There was a cheat to run faster, walk on the outside of the platform and also endless pepper . You might think this made the game boring but, in reality, it fueled some of the most interesting and fun Burger Time sessions from our living room floor.

THE INCREDIBLE CRASH DUMMIES

Ah yes, the infamous Incredible Crash Dummies; a toy line based on crash test dummies in a public service advertisement. The 90's really left no stone unturned for toy lines. We have the Crash Test Center playset and both the Crash Cycle and Car which come with a figure each. I always dreamed of owning these guys. I really don't know why. I think the idea that you could beat the shit out of them and still have a fully functional toy was sort of appealing to me. I never owned Crash Dummies as a kid but I did have a Michaelangelo action figure that fell apart at the seams from playing too hard that I pretended was a Crash Dummy.

AMERICAN GLADIATORS

Are the American Gladiators still a thing? I remember watching the show a handful of times way back when. And also, that one time a couple of them were interviewed on Space Ghost Coast to Coast. Up until now, I really don't think I've ever seen an American Gladiator action figure before. What a weird toy line... they all kind of look like they're constipated or maybe having an aneurism. Anyways, we have the Gladiator Wall Event playset with 3 skill levels, the Gladiator Assault playset, then a couple 2 packs of figures including Nitro, Laser, Gemini and Red Challenger. If action figures weren't enough, they also have listed an official Jousting Stick and Assault Cannon that you can use to beat your friends, cousins and siblings up with.

MORE MUTANT MADNESS!

I could talk about just one thing on this page but since I'm a TMNT fan first and foremost I'm just going to show off this entire fucking beautiful spread of Turtle figures and vehicles. This was the one thing I was really looking forward to seeing in this book and also the one thing I always asked for year round for Christmas; TMNT action figures. The first time I ever saw Turtle figures in a book like this was when the Next Mutation figures were making their way on shelves. I admit, I wasn't all that disappointed but I also wasn't as stoked on them as I would've been on the original line. This page has so much to offer! Let's start with the vehicles: we have infamous Turtle Party Wagon, the Mutant Military Bubble Bomber, and the Mutations Muta-Ski as well as the Muta-Carrier and Muta-Raft. Then we have a few figures; first, some Storage Shell Turtles that could fit all or most of their accessories inside their shells and then the Mutations toy lines where you could change each figure from mutated to normal form. And last on this wonderful page, we have the 5th Anniversary Collector's Edition Leonardo Statue which kind of looks like a turtle T-1000. Out of all of them, my most memorable moments involved the Mutations lines. I remember back when, I use to pretend I was mutating and I'd curl up into a ball on the floor. I'm sure proof of this is still documented very well on an old VHS tape somewhere.

BATMAN FIGURES AND PLAYSETS

On the very next page, from Kenner, we have the Batman toy line. They included the Batcave Command Center playset, the Bruce Wayne Custom Coupe and the Batmissile Batmobile. I thought it was odd that they didn't at least have a couple of villains in this line and instead only a 2 pack of Batman and Robin listed instead. I suppose Batman and Robin would just have to fight hoards of evil Crash Dummies and constipated American Gladiators.

PEDAL-POWERED BATMOBILE

As if the Batmobile tent wasn't enough of a reminder that I had missed out on cool shit, I get face slapped by this fucking thing. For $99.99, I could've been riding in style with this green machine disguised as the Batmobile with a working horn and steering wheel. I dreamt of Playskool cars and Kawasaki Ninja Power Wheels but this is on a whole other level. However, like the kid shown in the picture, I feel it's best complete with a Bat suit which doesn't come with the Batmobile otherwise you're just totally normal kid in the Batmobile.

That's all for now! Thanks for reading about old toy ads. Now go get your Christmas shopping done!