Child’s Play films ranked worst to best, June 2019
By and large, 2019 is shaping up to be the Summer of Child’s Play. The reboot is here in full force, and a lot of people (myself included) seem to really dig the new re-imagining. Even if you’re not a huge fan of the newest offering, you surely must be a fan of at least ONE of the previous entries, right? Well I’m a longtime lover of everything Chucky, and I decided to take it upon myself to rank the original series in my preferred order of watchability. Keep in mind, the following list is nothing more than my opinion! Without any further ado, let’s dive in!
7. Cult of Chucky (2017)
This is a tough one for me, because I feel like I SHOULD like this one a lot more than I do. To start off, Cult is really a sequel & direct continuation from Curse of Chucky, one of the best return to form films in ANY series. By all means, Cult had every advantage coming out of the gate - the OG Alex Vincent came back to the series as Andy, once again in a main role. We get a continuation of Fiona’s story from the previous film, and we even get a VERY unexpected return of the badass ‘Kyle’ character from part 2. But just too many things are taken a step too far in this one, in my opinion. The idea of multiple Chucky’s is a cool concept, but a bit wonky in execution. The sterile environment of the mental hospital should play into the creepiness of the film, but ends up leaving you longing for the more playful aspects of all of the previous movies up to this point. But the biggest problem that I had with this movie was Chucky himself. Most times he looks like a hand puppet - where his face does this weird crinkly thing while he’s talking. I understand that this was a low budget, direct-to-video movie, but the previous entry didn’t look THIS bad. All in all, still not a horrible movie, but maybe one of the most disappointing.
6. Seed of Chucky (2004)
For a long time, I downright loathed this movie. I remember it being such a giant letdown after watching the first four in succession. While my opinion of this one hasn’t changed a ton since my initial viewing, I’ve come to appreciate a few key aspects that, if watched with a bit of context, can add a bit more enjoyment. First and foremost, the absurdity of this movie must be acknowledged before popping this one on. Once you understand that this is more of a Scream-like, meta movie that tries more to be it’s own thing than to be a “sequel”, you’re gonna have a much better time with it.
After a fairly traditional opening, the curtain is pulled back a few minutes in and it’s revealed to the audience that what they just watched was actually a scene from a bio-pic about the “real life”” story of Chucky and Tiffany. Then it just ramps up from there - we find out that Chucky & Tiffany gave birth to a transgender doll Glenn/Glenda (a reference to the original master of schlock Ed Wood) who is not only given up by his parents but is essentially sold to the goddamn CIRCUS. A lot happens in this movie; Chucky drives Britney Spears off the road, Redman tries to “casting couch” Jennifer Tilly, and Jennifer Tilly gets artificially inseminated by Tiffany using a turkey baster. On paper, this all sounds hilarious & raunchy, but as it plays out on screen it just doesn’t FEEL like a Child’s Play movie. A weird experiment for sure and worth a revisit at some point when you’re in the right state of mind (drunk af).
5. Child’s Play 3 (1991)
This is where it starts to get a little tougher for me to start placing things in this ranking, and I know a lot of people will probably take issue with 3 being ranked so low. My real problem with this movie is and always has been that it just doesn’t capture my attention the way most of the other films do, especially while watching this series in order. I’ll say, right off the bat, this is my LEAST favorite way Chucky returns in the whole series. I mean, the Good Guy factory reopening again and Chucky’s blood dripping into a vat of molten plastic, therefore reawakening his spirit & reincarnating him in a new doll? Fuck off. This movie to me is the most “meh” film of them all. The idea of a slightly older Andy in a military school is kinda weird, if only because it doesn’t feel like the place for him. But, the real saving grace for this film HAS to be the carnival scene. I am and always will be a sucker for carnivals/fairs/amusement parks in movies - especially older ones (see BIG, Summer School, The Sandlot, etc.) I mean, just watch this scene and tell me you don’t feel the need to drop everything right now and go eat some cotton candy.
All this having been said, this movie had one of (if not the best) taglines in the entire series - “Look who’s stalking!” God, what I wouldn’t give to see John Travolta square off against Chucky just once.
4. Curse of Chucky (2013)
I was a sophomore in college when this movie was announced, and boy let me tell you, I was nothing short of floored that we were getting a new “scarier” Chucky movie, and that I wouldn’t even have to leave my dorm room to see it. I think most fans were really concerned at the idea of a direct-to-video entry in a series that hadn’t been touched in nearly a decade and I can’t blame them. For nearly all other franchises, the straight to DVD approach is usually the death knell, but this one felt different. Sure, the budget had been slashed (pun intended) in comparison to earlier films, but for most of the movie, it didn’t feel that way. I really truly enjoyed this one, and still do. Sure, there were a few complaints (CGI Chucky for example - still not a fan of that) but overall, the cast and crew did a great job in reigning the series back in after the bizarre ‘Seed’, and bringing it back to its roots more or less. The creepy Gothic atmosphere of the old mansion really made this one feel like an homage to an old Vincent Price haunted house movie. And can we talk about Fiona Dourif’s excellent performance as the new lead, Nica? She does a wonderful job at playing a tortured artist bound to a wheelchair. You wanna talk stress? Have a paraplegic character living in a not so handicapped accessible house being chased by a killer doll. Absolutely cannot recommend this entry in the series enough, a great return to form for sure, and a perfect movie to slip into your annual Halloween rotation.
3. Child’s Play (1988)
This is really where this list starts getting controversial, but please try to remember that this is only my opinion!
What is my opinion? MY opinion that the original is not the best. A hard pill to swallow for sure, but I’ll try to break down why that is. Unlike other great 80’s horror franchises that started off strong and went out with a whimper, Child’s Play was more or less the opposite. Now this doesn’t mean that the OG Child’s Play is a bad film, not even close. It’s FANTASTIC. But, I really think the character of Chucky comes into his own in subsequent entries, and after all, he really is the reason we’re all watching these movies anyways.
The premise for this one is still as strong and creepy, even if it does take a bit of suspension of disbelief to buy into the concept. Sure, I’ll give it to ya, it IS out there to believe that a serial killer could perform a voodoo ritual in his last moments on earth that transfers his soul into a doll’s body to continue on his reign of terror, but goddamn if it ain’t a creepy idea. Once you get past the semi-absurd set up, what you’re left with is probably the most effective creepy doll movie of them all, and certainly the most memorable by a long shot. You really feel for the characters in this once - a single mom doing her best and an only child that might possibly be a tiny bit neglected. But a grounded family story isn’t enough to keep a horror film chugging along, and that’s where our big set pieces come to fill in the rest of the story. How about the reveal when we discover that Chucky has been running without any batteries? Iconic. The scene where Chucky uses Andy to get him downtown via commuter rail to blow up one of his old cohort’s houses? Insane. A charred Chucky running around the Barclay’s apartment for one last chance to cause mayhem? Oscar worthy.
I love this movie. I recommend it highly. But there are still two other movies that I love more.
2. Bride of Chucky (1998)
Yes, really. I’m SORRY, okay? I know all you purists out there are shaking your fists in anger at your screen that Bride beat out the original, but this one just works so well for me on so many levels.
First and foremost, I am a huge fan of horror comedy. I like some dark humor mixed in with my scares and let me tell you, this movie is the Rolls Royce of horror comedies. We had seen Chucky evolve during the first three entries of the series, from a fairly standard horror protagonist to a more wise-cracking, Freddy Kruger-like boogeyman. But in the fourth entry, they took those witty one-liners and amplified them up to eleven, turning our boy Charles Lee Ray into a full on stand up comedian who also happened to kill people every now and then…and it worked! Really, really well. I know this divided the fan base, but I fell on the side of ‘this is everything Chucky was always supposed to be’.
You really get everything you could ask for in this entry - the gore is just as good as it’s ever been, the jokes are non-stop, and we get full on puppet passion. Our anti-hero finally gets a love interest in the form of Tiffany, played by America’s sweetheart Jennifer Tilly (ok maybe a bit of a stretch, but I’m sticking with it.) Who else is in this star studded affair you ask? John Ritter as an asshole cop & father? Check. Alexis Arquette as a groveling goth? Check. Who else could you possibly need?
I will admit, this movie won’t work for everyone, but there is a large part of me wishing that it would. If you like goofy comedies, horror, and a late 90’s aesthetic, this is going to be right up your alley.
Child’s Play 2 (1990)
This is the one ladies & gentlemen, this is the big time. Child’s Play 2 is by far the absolute BEST entry in this franchise. The Godfather 2 of killer doll movies if you’ll so indulge me. I may be a bit biased on this one, because it’s one of the very first horror movies I fell completely head over heels in love with. I took one look at the VHS box art of Chucky with an oversized pair of the world’s sharpest scissors, about to cut the head off of a poor, frightened little jack-in-the-box and I was sold.
Of course, the movie itself needed to live up to the hype of the box art, and boy did it deliver. Chucky absolutely was not fucking around in this film, getting really creative with his kills – I mean beating a crotchety old elementary school teacher with her own yardstick/ruler? There hasn’t been a day since I was 11 years old where that scene doesn’t enter my mind for at least 3 blissful seconds. That’s how I feel about most of the scenes in this movie. From the slimy businessman who’s responsible for Chucky’s resurrection being suffocated to death in his own car, to Andy’s jackass of a foster-dad falling down the stairs and breaking his neck, everything that happens in this movie STICKS with you for some time after you’re done watching the movie. This movie is the perfect balance of horror and tongue in cheek comedy, and the epitome of a perfect horror sequel. Say what you want about later sequels, but Child’s Play 2 did everything right.
Is it possible to get a Child’s Play 2, part 2?
Well there you have it, all of the ORIGINAL Child’s Play movies ranked in order from worst to best. I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it!
