North Korea Establishes Its Own Space Program, Begins Flight Testing

DEREK & ZACH

Move over Space Force, there’s a new asstronaut in town. It’s been reported that balloons filled with trash and (presumed) human feces sent into orbit by supreme leader Kim Jong Un have touched down prematurely in South Korea. It’s certainly an unconventional way for North Korea to jump-start their space program, but keeping in line with the rest of their government agencies, this new branch is also, appropriately, full of shit.

“We got the idea to shoot our trash into space from an episode of Futurama. We only caught a few minutes of it, but what could possibly go wrong?”

— Kim Jong Un, Probably

While this test flight didn’t quite make it to it’s intended final destination, Jong Un hopes future flights are more successful - much to the dismay of Apple co-founder & prospective space junk remover, Steve Wozniak. It’s well known that Wozniak had to put up with a lot of shit early on in his career, and predictably, retirement isn’t looking much different.

*Disclaimer: Everything you’ve just read has been satire, and we can’t even believe that we have to mention it just to keep us from getting sued. Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.