WILL MICHELANGELO BE DESTROYED BY THE FLUSHOMATIC? FIND OUT IN PRIME SLIME VOL. 2!

PRIME SLIME VOL. 2: THE FLUSHOMATIC!

Grimey

Long time no ooze? Let’s fix that and throw another installment of Prime Slime in the mix! Also, I apologize for being so infrequent with my articles. This time of year really blows and I’m finding it increasingly hard to stay ambitious and inspired, but we’re gettin’ there. Anyways, the first volume, which you can find here, we talked about Slimer, Jello, an Ooze Canister and dried up vintage Gak. I’d like to do things a little differently going forward starting with this entry and focus on one item each article. I love doing the “list of 5 such and such” but I’m finding it to be much more enjoyable as well as sustainable for me to choose one item to spew about in depth as opposed to a small paragraph per however many items each article. So, without anything further, onto todays item which happens to be the High-Tech Toilet Torture Trap; the Flushomatic!

The Flushomatic, if you didn’t already know, is a mini playset part of Playmates original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles line back in 1989. I never owned this carpets nightmare as kid, so I don’t have much emotional attachment to it aside from it being a Turtles item and already being obsessed with the box it comes in. There is something strangely beautiful about older TMNT toys with that hand drawn style artwork on the box and the Flushomatic is the perfect example. I can already tell I would’ve undoubtedly pissed my parents off AT LEAST a couple dozen times with this thing. It’s a slime playset; it’s practically a floor magnet. Oh, and here is it’s amazing commercial appearance before I forget.

The Flushomatic features a toilet fixed on top of two mechanical legs standing over top of a tray which has a strap to hold your helpless victim in. There is a lever in the front; if the toilet is full of ooze and the lever is pushed to the right or left, the ooze slowly leaks onto your figure in the tray. Why is this torture? Well, the idea is that the “retromutagen ooze” is used to turn the turtles back to their pre-mutated state, which is obviously not good for the heroes in a half shell if they’re expected to kick shredders ass on an almost daily basis.

I’ve had this thing for a while now and never actually played with it the way it’s intended to be so I’m interested to see how this goes. Since authentic retromutagen ooze has been reaching insane prices (as much as $400 for a sealed can) you can understand straight away why I opted for some Dollar General Toxic Sludge. It’s relatively runny (the perfect consistency for drenching figures with) and it’s cheap as hell. Baxter Stockman chose Mikey as his victim.... I didn’t want to use a boring looking figure like Shredder. Baxter is way more colorful and thus much more photogenic. This thing has a lot going on with it including “ooze absorbent toilet tissue” really playing up on that turtles humor. I will say that the victim tray with the harness is really cool! The green oozey sticker against the purple tray really pops! I could’ve just used the toxic sludge can to pour into the toilet bowl but I wanted to be at least somewhat authentic so I dumped a little in the provided trash can that came with the Flushomatic and proceeded to fill the toilet bowl. A quick flip of the lever and VOILA; I have a retromutated Mikey. Glad to know it works!

Playmates toys was somewhat notorious for changing things from the turtles lore when it came to their toy counterparts but the Flushomatic was, more or less, spot on as far as accuracy goes aside from the toilet paper roll. You can see the cartoon appearance of the Flushomatic in season 3 episode 31 entitled “Michelangelo’s Birthday.” I also noticed in a quick Google search that it made an appearance in the more recent 2012 Nickelodeon series which you can see includes the ooze absorbent toilet paper roll.

I didn’t expect to actually have fun doing this. I held off for a while with this one as my thoughts were all “I’m going to have to clean this after I’m done and I don’t really want to” but this caught me off guard and sort of took me back to simpler times when I use to fall asleep and wake up with Gak stuck in my hair. Yeah, I use to have hair. Anyways, thanks for reading!