Love must be in the air once again, because here we are browsing eBay for 30 year old Valentine’s Day cards. And you must be single because here YOU are, reading about us looking at said cards. Either that or you’re in quarantine, but in any event, we’re here…let’s make the best of this.

Last year we did something very similar, and if you have any interest you can read part 1 of this (hopefully) ongoing series right here. Also, if you’re looking for some fun NEW cards to give to, idk, your Mom or something, maybe consider picking up some of our very own DemBoys cards here.

Anyways, let’s get on with it.

Mickey Mouse Valentines

First up we have these absolutely kick-ass Mickey Mouse themed V-Day cards. While I was unable to locate the year of production on these bad boys, I think a safe bet would put these around ‘93 or ‘94. Why? Well, that was the absolute PEAK of what I lovingly refer to as the '90s Dino Boom, due to a little film called Jurassic Park.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE was hopping on the dino trend in those days, and good ‘ol Mickey Mouse wasn’t going to miss out on a money making venture. What I love about these is that while these were absolutely inspired by Jurassic Park, the artwork & overall aesthetic really just screams Flintstones. If only Disney had thought to copy the family of cavemen by way of children’s vitamins…

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

From 1991, we have Grand Award Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles valentines. What stuck out most about these particular valentines wasn't the fact that I've had some form of TMNT cards numerous times as a kid, but the blatant TMNT cereal box ripoff featured on the cover. It's so close to the original that I almost mistook it for a cereal box while searching for valentines on ebay.

I'm not too familiar with what valentines had on them back in the day as I was mostly concerned with the images on them rather than the words; These happen to not only have messages for you special friends, they also have teacher messages. "Teacher, I like you as much as pizza." Whoever designed these clearly never had pizza; It's way better than teachers.

Batman: The Animated Series

From the year 1994, we bring you Batman: The Animated Series Valentines! I don’t know about you guys, but I think Batman might just be the worst poster boy for the holiday of love. A brooding & moody character like Bats just clashes so heavily with the idea behind a holiday like V-Day.

I know kids would never think this way, after all they’re just in it for the free candy and the possibility to flex on their friends by handing out pieces of paper with Batman printed on it. But as an adult, I notice speech bubbles that say “Never fear, I think you’re great!” and I INSTANTLY realize that hey - maybe Frank Miller didn’t actually write these. Are these cards even canon? Were they ever intended to be?

Obviously I am joking. But then again, maybe I’m not.

The California Raisins

When it comes to The California Raisins, I immediately think "Christmas" thanks to Will Vinton’s Claymation Christmas. But, the Raisins were so much more than just a quick Christmas special and these valentines prove that.

What I didn’t know is how active these dudes were! Aside from singing and being well versed in different instruments, we can see them skateboarding, surfing, biking, hiking and jogging in some of these cards. I always loved how they would try to relate the message as close as possible to the picture on the card; "just jogging to say Happy Valentines Day!" and "I'm riding high.... for you!" OK, maybe that last one was 89's take of "riding dirty."

Dr. Mario Valentines

Grand Award killing it again in 1990 with these fantastic Dr Mario valentines cards! Tell me these aren't the absolute best valentines for the pandemic? "Germs of endearment" need I say more? I, for one, would be thrilled to have a card with Dr Mario throwing pills at viruses.

"Friendship cures all" *throws capsule and kills virus* also, be my valentine, bitch! Absolutely smitten! They just don't make them like they use to. It's unfortunate that I wasn't able to do more than speak baby jibberish and shit myself in 1990, these would've been something I'd have gravitated to without hesitation.

Alien Window Clings

Yeah yeah, I know these aren’t cards, but it’s our website and we can break all the rules. Welcome to the wild west, baby.

Anyways, I don’t know about all of you, but my Mom used to deck our house out in window clings for every single holiday - a practice that I’ve noticed is slowly dying out. It’s a real shame too because while you’d always find your “big properties” i.e. your Peanuts, Disney, etc., you’d also frequently find weird shit like these Alien themed clings when you’d walk into your local CVS. I suppose that’s what I miss most about decorations like these - the odd amount of creativity and care that went into them. These days even if the tradition had stayed alive & well, I can bet with utter certainty that we’d never see something like these weird little alien clings. They wouldn’t be able to compete with IP’s like Star Wars or literally any Marvel Property.

Shame.

Anyways, our ranting is over for now. We’re gonna pack it up, crack open some ice cream and watch Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist for the 1,300th time. We recommend you do the same.